You’re welcome.

This recipe is a basic, tasty dish that uses a protein I wasn’t familiar with, personally, but which is a treat to many before me: the portobello mushroom. This dish is one notch away from being vegetarian — one deliciously wonderful notch. So, you’re able to modify this to suit a few different dietary needs.

Plus, it’s frakkin’ delicious and easy to make in about 15 minutes.

You should pick up:

• Portobello Mushroom Caps — often sold is a store-wrapped package at your grocer. They look like this.
• 1 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 to 2 Garlic Cloves (depending on how garlic’y you like things), peeled and minced
• 1 Red Bell Pepper, cut into strips (you can sub in a green pepper if you’re stuck, but red or orange peppers are the best — you should know this already)
• Strips of Bacon (one for each mushroom cap)
• Montreal Steak Spicy seasoning (you can use pepper and red pepper flakes if you want to get close)
• Salt (don’t measure your salt, just go with what feels right)
• Shredded Parmesan Cheese (this is a topping, so have enough to top your caps)
• Shredded Mozzarella Cheese (also for our cheesy topping)

Got it all? Ready to go? Nice. Let’s continue!

1. Heat the olive oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Stir in the garlic and peppers. Season with salt. Cook uncovered for a couple minutes, and then…
2. Add strips of bacon to the skillet. I find placing them around the edges is best. Continue cooking 2 to 3 minutes until peppers are tender. While tenderizing your peppers…
3. Prepare your mushroom caps by first washing them, then drizzle some olive oil on and in the gills (the underside). Season the underside to taste with Montreal Steak (or your pepper substitute) and a bit a salt.
4. Now, flip the bacon and add your mushroom caps to the center of the skillet, cooking the underside first. Reduce heat to low-medium, cover and cook for about 5 minutes. Your kitchen is going to start smelling really great about now, if it doesn’t already.
5. After 5 minutes or so, flip the bacon and mushrooms once more. Layer both shredded cheese on the mushrooms (you are applying the cheese to the seasoned underside of the mushrooms). Cover it up again and cook for another 5 minutes, until tender.
6. Now it’s ready! Remove from heat and plate! Take each cheesy mushroom cap off the skillet, then cover each with your pepper/garlic reduction. Put a strip of bacon on top and it’s good-to-go delicious!

It looks like more work than it is. Total prep and cook time should be about 15-20 minutes. And it’s worth it. The bacon fat helps the peppers and garlic reach a state of “more awesome than usual” without robbing the dish of its healthiness.

I suggest you serve beside Tomato Lentil Couscous, which is a great compliment.

Wow! Colin cooked up mushrooms!

I was waking up. Earlier than usual, because I had a class to get to. It was barely the third week of college and I was in Room 103 of Russell Hall E at the University of Delaware. My roommate –now one of my closest friends, but then still someone I was getting to know– and I were awoken by our neighbor, Adam from Room 105, banging on our door telling us to turn on the news.

We had the largest TV on the floor, which is funny considering it was a mere 25in. TV/VCR combo. As a result, a handful of friends and floormates gathered in our room. I was watching the havoc unfold and watching live when the second plane struck.

Everything was mesmerizing. Stunning. Awesome. It all seemed so big. Here I was in a room, in a dorm, at a college, and in a state I had known for shy of three weeks, surrounded by a half-dozen or so young adults in the same situation. We didn’t know what to do. We were paralyzed by the news and by the bigness of it all.

I went to class. I’m sure I could’ve skipped, but I was a Freshman away from home, confused about everything happening, and desperate to insert some rhythm, schedule, and routine back into this day of destruction. I remember walking to class and wondering if the other students around me knew what was going on. It was obvious that some did. It was also strikingly obvious that many did not. I learned through the four years of college that followed how routine it can be for a college student to roll right out of bed and on to class. This explains why so many people seemed to have no idea of the news, but I remember it feeling so very odd to me at the time.

What I remember most about that walk to class –and that morning in general– is the sky. As a whole, the weather that day was the type of autumnal weather you yearn for — a bright, blue sky full of fluffy, white clouds accompanied by a light, but crisp breeze. Had it not been for everything unfolding in New York, and later Pennsylvania and Washington, it might have been the most beautiful day of the year.

My 9:30AM class did not start as had been its usual. People were talking about the news throughout the beginning of class and the professor, frustrated, asked what was going on. A student told him what had happened. He turned on the television in the classroom and we watched a bit more of things on CNN. Eventually, he started our linguistics discussion up again, but class was a bit more broken than before.

After class, I returned to my dorm. Along the way, I had a conversation with a new friend from my class who would become my sophomore year roommate and a part of my core group of friends throughout college. I don’t remember any specifics, but I remember standing for a bit on the South Mall, near Allison Hall, talking about the events of the day and the weather.

Once back at the dorm, there were a lot of people stirring, watching the news, reading things online, and gathering. The news of Pennsylvania and the Pentagon crashes was now out. For a brief while I thought everything and everyone in America might be in danger. Some of us were too shocked to really understand what it all meant, others were altogether too angry and patriotic, storming about the place.

I remember trying to call my parents, but having a hard time getting any connection on my cell phone. A group of us must’ve went to lunch around this time, but I don’t remember it.

I was able to checkin on other friends at college through Instant Messenger. People posted status messages indicating that they were unharmed and safe. Several of my closest friends attended school in New York and near Washington. All were okay. It was amazing to be so connected to people throughout the day, and realizing how similarly we all felt. New friends I’d met at school and old friends away at their own schools, all trying to figure things out and understand what and why.

In my afternoon class, an honors English course with a professor I had already come to abhor, we had fairly high attendance. One girl in our class was clearly affected by the tragedies personally. She was being consoled by friends and the professor. I remember only that this girl was a commuting student and that in coming weeks, she would leave our class, presumably due to family difficulties stemming from the tragedy. As I remember this, I wish I had been one of the students to console her, but I had a very “deer in headlights” approach to the day in general, and did not. In the class, we postponed our planned discussion and instead talked about the days’ events. It was interesting to have the thoughts of about twenty eighteen year olds scrambled into a discussion, but everything was so raw or shallow. It takes time to figure out how you feel about things like this, and we’d only had about five hours. I didn’t know how to summarize everything I was feeling weeks later, let alone hours.

In the early evening I did get in touch with my parents. My Mom and Dad were distraught and upset like everyone else I’d interacted with that day. I talked with them on my cell phone, which I’d only had for a few weeks, on the grass outside my dorm and dining hall. I remember exactly where, though a year later, the university would rip up the pavement and trees, changing that area of campus entirely. I remember my Dad telling me to be calm and take everything in. I was already calm, but at this point in the day mostly confused. There wasn’t really a good way to fight the confusion.

My girlfriend at the time was still in high school. We were able to talk that evening. It was her sister’s birthday. I remember, clearly, my girlfriend cursing that it was a “pretty shitty birthday present, huh?” which was striking because she so rarely used language like that. It was a small outburst, but really indicative of what everyone was going through that day. She told me how upsetting it had been to learn of everything going on in school and I wished so very much to be wherever she was. There is something about tragedy that makes you need to be with the people you love, and I felt that intensely that evening. A big part of me just wanted to be home.

As day finally turned into night, the dorm was still abuzz with activity and life. That’s normal for a dorm full of freshman, but it was different. Quiet hours were actually pretty quiet, but you could clearly hear conversations and the noise of news broadcasts on televisions in each room. There wasn’t any of the fairly typical hall sports or rambunctious behavior in the hallway.

I can’t remember dinner, which is funny, because I can’t seem to remember a single meal from that day. I can’t remember many details beyond the morning. I remember large swaths of feelings, and the gorgeous weather. I don’t remember when or how I was able to fall asleep with so much running around in my head, but I remember hoping the next day would be better. I hoped the next day would bring more information and reason into the ambush of excitement and fear that plagued today…

—

In the ten years since, I have graduated college, entered the working world, moved across the country (by plane, of course), moved back across the country, married my lovely wife (one of my closest friends from that dorm Freshman year), and started my own business.

I’ve been through more trying times, personally, than September 11th, but nothing since has come close in terms of national spectacle than the events of that day. It was shaping up to be a beautiful, perfect autumn day until around 9:00am when everything changed.

I can’t believe it’s been ten years.

You will need:

• 2 cans of Tiny shrimp (Bumble Bee brand is great, substitute Small if your grocer does not have Tiny)
• 1 lb. box of Medium (or Small) Shell Pasta
• 1 onion (sweet or not, pick your poison)
• Some celery (no exact amount)
• Some mayo (again, not exact)
• Salt, pepper, spices

Take the next 20-30 minutes to prepare, thusly:

1. Cook pasta. This will take about 20 minutes between bringing the water to a boil and the 12-14 minute cooking time. Which is great, because while it’s cooking, you…
2. Dice the onion and celery. Finely diced is best, but this is an inexact science type of dish, so don’t sweat it.
3. When ready, drain the pasta, let it cool a bit (don’t rinse it, just let it cool in your strainer)
4. Empty the pasta in a big mixing/salad bowl and add salt and pepper to taste. I also sometimes add oregano or light garlic spices, so play with it a bit. Don’t over-do it, because next you’ll…
5. Add the diced onions and celery.
6. Open the cans of shrimp, drain the water from them, and add the shrimp to the bowl and mix everything together with a spatula or wooden spoon.
7. Add mayo. Add it in rounds, you’d like your component parts to all have some mayo on them, but by no means be covered in the stuff.
8. Cover the bowl. Chill for a few hours in the fridge.
9. Remove from the fridge when cold, give it another few stirs and dish it out.

You can try this with any type of pasta, but the shells are the best, because they occasionally create these shrimp-onion-celery-pasta bombs in one single bite when they catch everything together. It’s grand.

This makes me think of my Mom. It makes me think of summer. It makes me happy. It’s a perfect compliment to burgers, hot dogs, and anything else you’re whipping up on the grill.

Enjoy.

One could almost draw a straight line from the technical things I was playing with at that time (late 2000 to early 2001, for those not keeping track) to the career in which I now call myself a professional.

fatDOG was so much more than that, though. I learned over the years that it was an arena for many of my friends — and even their friends — to express themselves in ways they could not afford to anywhere else. Some played with poetry to various degrees of success, others cranked out opinion pieces, and some put together serial stories that remain some of the best writing I’ve read.

The ways in which this simple website — a multi-author blog before such a thing was commonplace or simple to do — touched people are numerous. It touched the authors in a special way, and they were then able to reach out to the readers, sparking conversation about topics as far ranging as love, life, drugs, careers, music, fear, self-doubt, and confidence.

This website captured the emotions of a few dozen people in their late teens and early twenties as they experienced high school graduation, entering college, the September 11th attacks, and the personal battles of college and quarter-life. To this day, it is shocking and fun to read it all back.

So, while I have made the decision to “lock the door” on the website as a new annual bill of hosting quickly approaches, I have not and will not lose the key. I will be bringing all of nearly 600 original articles submitted to the website back online in the near future, and asking my contributors to come back for a bit and comment on their thoughts, fears, and work from up to ten years ago.

I can’t wait to find out what we all think of ourselves when the time comes to look back at the places from which we all came.

To the many authors and readers, friends and lurkers — you remain the integral part of the favorite thing I have ever built. I encourage you to head over to fatDOG, now, and review some choice quotes and many of the site’s famous splash images in the special “locked” page that is now up.

Love,

Colin

Bask in the history of the fatDOG website at http://thosekids.org/fatdog/

You are the love of my life, Liz!

I used to love reading your blog, but lately it’s been a little boring. I’ll still read it though =)

That’s harsh, spam robot! I’ve just started up blogging again and here you go knocking down my self-esteem. I suppose my blog was more original and interesting for the months upon months that I left it dormant. Now that I’m wasting your time spewing my thoughts into it, it’s a little hard to take, right? Sorry ’bout that.

So here goes.. let’s fix this! But fear not — we won’t get too drastic.

To get us started, let’s go over the NFC final standings and playoff seatings, according to current NFL rules:

1. Atlanta Falcons (13-3, winners of NFC South)
2. Chicago Bears (11-5, winners of NFC North)
3. Philadelphia Eagles (10-6, winners of NFC East)
4. Seattle Seahawks (7-9, winners of NFC West)
5. New Orleans Saints (11-5, wildcard from NFC South)
6. Green Bay Packers (10-6, wildcard from NFC North)

Now, it’s worth mentioning that two teams finished with records better than the Seahawks, but did not qualify for the playoffs by virtue of not winning their division. Those unfortunate teams are:

• New York Giants (10-6, 2nd place in NFC East due to 0-2 record against Eagles)
• Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10-6, 3rd place in NFC South behind the Saints and Falcons)

Now, it’s unfortunate that a 7-9 Seahawks team gets in ahead of those teams, but there’s no way a team that wins their division shouldn’t get into the playoffs. So, yes, the Seahawks play in a crappy division and the Giants and Bucs play in considerably difficult divisions, but that’s the way it goes. You win your division, you get in. And you should.

The problem is that those very same 7-9 Seahawks are actually going to host the far-better-performing 11-5 Saints in the Wildcard weekend, when — had the Saints been in any other division, they’d be waiting at home with a first round bye this coming weekend. That’s a tough break for the Saints.

Here’s the thing — if you want a bye, you should have to win your division. Plain and simple. There has to be a prize for winning your division and there has to be a punishment for failing to do so.

BUT, in the Wildcard weekend, all (okay, most) bets should be off. The Saints should be hosting a game, just by virtue of having the best record among the four teams playing in Wildcard weekend.

So here’s my plan for re-doing the playoff seating:

1. The four division winners are in the playoffs. Your prize for winning a division, even if you do it as crappily as the Seahawks, is that you get to play in the playoffs. This is the same as currently.
2. The next best two teams also get in the playoffs. They didn’t win their divisions, but they’re freaking good enough to play for a championship. This is also the same as currently.
3. The best two division winners have first-round byes. Settle this with the usual tie-breakers. This would actually keep this year’s NFC picture the same as it is, now. Atlanta and Chicago would stay warm and healthy by the fire for the first week of the playoffs. This rule is the same as present. No major changes, yet.
4. To decide the order of the wildcard teams, go by best record, don’t initially take division crowns into consideration. This would change the order of the wildcard teams to New Orleans, Green Bay, Philadelphia, Seattle. That’s almost a flip-flop. The games would be the same, but the home teams would change.
5. But! If there is a tie in determining the wildcard seating, use division championship as the first tie-breaker. This would mean that though Green Bay and Philadelphia have the same record, and Green Bay has the head-to-head advantage over the Eagles, the Eagles would be seated ahead of the Packers by virtue of winning their division.

Now, under these rules, we’d see a fairly close seating to what we have, now, but there wouldn’t be gross favoritism for division-winning wildcards, only moderate favoritism. If you think about it, a 10-6 Eagles team that was beat in week 1 by a 10-6 Packers team, but was able to win their division when the Packers couldn’t, should get home field in that matchup. However, a 7-9 Seahawks team should just be happy to be in the playoffs, and they haven’t earned a home playoff game over an 11-5 Saints team that had to battle through a division that could’ve easily produced three playoff teams.

So, NFL Competition Committee, I hope you’re listening. Here’s how the NFC Playoff Standings would shake-down under these new, adjusted rules:

1. Atlanta Falcons (13-3, NFC South Champs, Best Conference Record)
2. Chicago Bears (11-5, NFC North Champs, First Round Bye)
3. New Orleans Saints (11-5, 2nd Place NFC South, Best Wildcard Round Record, Home Team for Wildcard Round)
4. Philadelphia Eagles (10-6, NFC East Champs, Home Team for Wildcard Round)
5. Green Bay Packers (10-6, 2nd Place NFC North, Visit Philadelphia in Wildcard Round)
6. Seattle Seahawks (7-9, NFC West Champs, Visit New Orleans in Wildcard Round)

That’s a lot more stomach-able, yes!? It just makes sense. We shouldn’t toss the Seahawks out altogether, because winning your division counts for something, but at 7-9, shouldn’t they just be happy to be in the tournament? And under this, the best team in the wildcard round gets a home game. You’re welcome, New Orleans Saints.

If you’re curious, here’s how this would impact the AFC. The AFC breaks down like this under current NFL rules:

1. New England Patriots (14-2, AFC East Champs, Best Overall Record)
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4, AFC North Champs, First Round Bye)
3. Indianapolis Colts (10-6, AFC South Champs, Home Wildcard Game)
4. Kansas City Chiefs (10-6, AFC West Champs, Home Wildcard Game)
5. Baltimore Ravens (12-4, 2nd Place AFC North, Road Wildcard Game)
6. NY Jets (11-5, 2nd Place AFC East, Road Wildcard Game)

Let’s ignore that the Colts are somehow in the AFC South for a second and look at this. The Colts and Chiefs both have worse records than the teams they’ll host in the wildcard round. Both of them! The Pats and Steelers took care of business, sure, but the Ravens and Jets are getting screwed, here. Under our new seating rules, you’d get this:

1. New England Patriots (14-2, AFC East Champs, Home Field Advantage)
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4, AFC North Champs, First Round Bye)
3. Baltimore Ravens (12-4, 2nd Place AFC North, Home Wildcard Game)
4. NY Jets (11-5, 2nd Place AFC East, Home Wildcard Game)
5. Indianapolis Colts (10-6, AFC South Champs but bad record, Visit New York in Wildcard Round)
6. Kansas City Chiefs (10-6, AFC West Champs but bad record, Lost tie-breaker to Colts, Visit Baltimore in Wildcard Round)

And that is how it should line up. The getting into the playoffs is not the problem. It’s the way we’re lining up the teams once they’re there. A steller Ravens team should not have to go on the road to visit a barely-better-than-mediocre Chiefs team, but the Chiefs belong in the playoffs as the best team in their division, however weak a division it is… and it was pretty weak, this year. When will San Diego put together a full season!?

Likewise, the Seattle Seahawks won their division. It will take a team of NASA scientists and MIT mathematicians to figure out how they won a division with a losing record, but they did do it, so they belong in the tournament. They don’t, however, deserve to host the far superior (four wins superior, in fact) New Orleans team in a playoff game.

What say you, NFL Competition Overlords… I mean, Committee!?